I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
