so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
