I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
