is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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