carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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