She is in my trunk
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i dont even know how to be here
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
