i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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