Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
