Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What a dumb baby whore.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
