Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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