Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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