: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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