I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i will never coherently bang her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize