Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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