did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
