4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
