so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize