Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
