Having a random hookup so left but love u
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
