Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the day after is always just damage control
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
