Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
