ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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