After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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