I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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