I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
