A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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