so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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