The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
