He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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