WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
