Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
