One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
