then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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