The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
