I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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