let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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