Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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