R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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