Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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