so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
