Four minutes until I can fart!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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