I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
