we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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