I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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