he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
