He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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