I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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