Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
