you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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