All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
