hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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