I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We left an ass print on the piano.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I want is dick and wine.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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