You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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