belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
