I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
