I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
