Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
