You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
