...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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