At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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