Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
