I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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