I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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