just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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