the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
