So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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