Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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