I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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