Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
