Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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