quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
