Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you never un-have a 4some
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
