Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
