I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
